Category Archives: Children/Teens

How To Help Kids Cope With Anger…How to help Parents Cope with Angry Kids

“Anger has a bad reputation, but it is a basic human emotion like any other. Here’s how to help children cope.” C.Pearson,The New York Times, June 28, 2022

ESL Voices Lesson Plan for this post with Answer Key

Credit: Tim Lahan

Excerpt: How to Raise Kids Who Are Good at Getting Angry, By Catherine Pearson, The New York Times, June 28, 2022

How to soothe crying babies

“I never really witnessed pure rage up close until I became a parent of toddlers. My children, who are a bit older now, weren’t big tantrum throwers. But when they went for it, they really went for it: screaming, sobbing, full-body shaking —the works…Fortunately, their respective meltdown phases were brief. I say “fortunately,” because I didn’t do much to help tame their outbursts. I was flummoxed by their fits of anger, and sometimes worried about who I was raising.

How to calm your babies. Credit-.Medium

How to soothe crying babies

Parents don’t have to yell. Credit; Healthline

Learning to manage anger is a lifelong skill that allows children to function at home, in school and out in the world without losing control. And it’s a skill that parents can help their kids cultivate, even starting when they are babies and toddlers, by encouraging them to develop outlets and modeling strong coping skills yourself.”

Additional Reading [Excellent article ~ ESL-Voices]:

How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger, By Michaeleen Doucleff and Jane Greenhalgh, NPR, March 13, 2019

This story is part of a series from NPR’s Science desk called ‘The Other Side of Anger’.

Anthropologist Jean L. Briggs (1929–2016)

“For more than 30 years, the Inuit welcomed anthropologist Jean Briggs into their lives so she could study how they raise their children…Back in the 1960s, a Harvard graduate student made a landmark discovery about the nature of human anger.”

“…Across the board, all the moms mention one golden rule: Don’t shout or yell at small children…Traditionally, the Inuit saw yelling at a small child as demeaning. It’s as if the adult is having a tantrum; it’s basically stooping to the level of the child, Briggs documented.”

Inuit parenting is gentle and tender. They even have a special kiss for kids called kunik. (Above) Maata Jaw gives her daughter the nose-to-cheek Inuit sniff. Johan Hallberg-Campbell for NPR

Maata Jaw and daughter. Credit NPR

ESL Voices Lesson Plan for this post

NOTE: Lessons can also be used with native English speakers.

Level: Intermediate – Advanced

Language Skills: Reading, writing, and speaking. Vocabulary and grammar activities are included.

Time: Approximately 60 minutes. 

Materials: Student handout (from this lesson) and access to news article.


Objective: Students will read and discuss the article with a focus on improving reading comprehension and improving oral skills. At the end of the lesson students will express their personal views on the topic through group work and writing. 

I. Pre-Reading Activities

 Predictions: Analyzing headings and photos

Directions: Examine the titles of the post and of the actual article.  Examine any photos, then create a list of  words and  ideas  that you  and your group members think might be related to this article.  

II. While Reading Activities

Word Inference

Directions: Try  to infer the meanings of the words in bold taken from the article. You use a dictionary, thesaurus, and Word Chart for assistance. 

  1. I never really witnessed pure rage up close until I became a parent of toddlers.
  2. My children, who are a bit older now, weren’t big tantrum throwers.
  3. But when they went for it, they really went for it.
  4. Fortunately, their respective meltdown phases were brief.
  5. “Fortunately,” because I didn’t do much to help tame their outbursts.
  6. I was flummoxed by their fits of anger.
  7. Anger isn’t bad nor is expressing it inherently dangerous.
  8. Learning to manage anger is a lifelong skill.
  9. It’s a skill that parents can help their kids cultivate.
  10. Anger is a basic human emotion.

 

Whimsical Vocabulary Organizer by Danielle Mays

 

Grammar Focus: Structure and Usage

Directions: The following groups of sentences are from the article. One of the sentences in each group contains a grammatical  error.  Identify the sentence (1, 2, or 3 ) from each group that contains the grammatical error.

I

  1. How to Raise Kids Who Are Good at Getting Angry.
  2. Anger have a bad reputation.
  3. Anger is a basic human emotion like any other.

II

  1. I never really witnessed pure rage.
  2. I was flummoxed by there fits of anger.
  3. Many of us were taught that anger is bad.

III

  1. Learning to manage anger is a lifelong skill.
  2. Don’t be afraid for tantrums.
  3. Some emotions are really stressful.

 

Reading Comprehension: Identify The Speakers

Directions: Read the following quotes from the speakers in the article. Then identify the speakers. 

  1. “Many of us were taught that anger is bad, and that to show we’re angry and express our feelings is bad…But anger isn’t bad, Dr. McCoy said, nor is expressing it inherently dangerous or disrespectful.”
  2.  “When it comes to kids and anger, it can help to remember a few simple facts: First, anger is a basic human emotion. And second, emotions exist to tell us about ourselves and our relationships.”
  3. “It’s not uncommon for toddlers or preschoolers to have tantrums several times a week…The average length of toddler tantrums is around three minutes but there is a wide range in how long they can go on — anywhere between 1 and 20 minutes.”

III. Post Reading Activities

WH-How Questions

Directions: Have students use the  WH-question format to discuss or to write the main points from the article. 

Who or What is the article about?

Where does the action/event take place?

When does the action/event take place?

Why did the action/event occur?

How did the action/event occur?

Questions for  Discussion and Comprehension

Directions: In groups answer the following questions:

*[ Please Note: Questions 1 and 2  are from NPR website]

  1. How do you get your kids to do things without yelling or shouting? 
  2. How did your parents get you to do things without yelling or scolding? 
  3. List three new ideas  that you’ve learned about the topic from the reading,  two things that you did not understand in the reading, and one thing you  would like to know that the article did not mention.  Share your responses with your class.
  4. List 3  questions  that you would like to ask any person mentioned in the article. Groups share questions as a class.

ANSWER KEY

Category: Children/Teens, Education, Mental Health Issues, Psychology, Social Issues | Tags: ,

Even A Goddess Has to Work These Days!

“When the 6-year-old goddess wept for four days, it was viewed as a terrible omen for Nepal, and her tears appeared to have foreshadowed a national tragedy.” E.  Schmall,  The New York Times, July 23, 2022

ESL Voices Lesson Plan for this post with Answer Key

Chanira Bajracharya, 27, was once a kumari, a young girl worshiped in Nepal as the embodiment of a Hindu goddess. Behind her are photos of her wearing her divine regalia. Credit: Uma Bista for The New York Times

 

Excerpt: Ex-Goddess Works to Reform 700-Year Tradition. Her M.B.A. Helps. Emily Schmall,  The New York Times, July 23, 2022

“On the last day of her crying, June 1, 2001, the crown prince of Nepal killed nine members of the royal family, including his parents, King Birendra and Queen Aishwarya, before shooting himself.

More than 20 years later… that girl who had been worshiped as a goddess was now a woman concerned with more earthly matters: Chanira Bajracharya, a freshly minted M.B.A., was handling loan applications at the financial services firm where she works.

Her ability to land a corporate job has set her apart from most other former kumari, women who in their prepubescent youth were worshiped as the living embodiment of a Hindu goddess — but most of whom were denied education.

‘People used to think because she’s a goddess, she knows everything,” said Ms. Bajracharya, 27. “And who dares to teach a goddess?’

Since the 14th century, girls as young as 2 have been chosen from Buddhist families from the Newar community living in the Kathmandu Valley… The kumari, Ms. Bajracharya said, act as a syncretic symbol between Hinduism and Buddhism, the largest faiths in Nepal, a country of about 30 million…Most kumari before Ms. Bajracharya, including her aunt, Dhana Kumari Bajracharya, received no formal education…Ms. Bajracharya is working to change that, urging the current crop of young goddesses to study as she did, which she believes will not only help them, but also help shield an institution that critics argue deprives girls of their childhoods and human rights...Ms. Bajracharya, who remains a staunch champion of the tradition, had favorable feelings about her unusual childhood…’Those moments were the best moments of my life,’ she said…And she rejected any notion that the role had violated her rights.

‘People used to think that as a goddess, we have a very secluded life, we don’t get to speak with others, we don’t get time to play, we’re not allowed to smile,’ she said. ‘All those myths that have been so popular, sometimes I get so irritated.’ Still, no one considers it an easy role…Ms. Bajracharya’s reign as the living goddess of Patan, from 2001 to 2010, saw some of Nepal’s greatest political change, from the palace killings her tears were believed to have foretold, to the Maoist insurgency that intensified afterward. In 2008, Nepal abolished its 240-year-old monarchy and became a democratic republic.”

 

ESL Voices Lesson Plan for this post

NOTE: Lessons can also be used with native English speakers.

 

Level: Intermediate – Advanced

Language Skills: Reading, writing, and speaking. Vocabulary and grammar activities are included.

Time: Approximately 60 minutes. 

Materials: Student handout (from this lesson) and access to news article.


Objective: Students will read and discuss the article with a focus on improving reading comprehension and improving oral skills. At the end of the lesson students will express their personal views on the topic through group work and writing. 

I. Pre-Reading Activities

 Predictions: Using a Pre-reading Organizer

Directions: Examine the title of the post and of the actual article. Next examine  any photos. Write a paragraph describing what you think this article will discuss. A pre-reading organizer may be used.

Pre-reading chart by J. Swann

II. While Reading Activities

Word Inference

Directions: Try  to infer the meanings of the words in bold taken from the article. You use a dictionary, thesaurus, and Word Chart for assistance. 

  1. The 6-year-old goddess wept for four days.
  2. This was viewed as a terrible omen for Nepal.
  3. More than 20 years later, the young woman sits in a nondescript office in Patan.
  4. Chanira Bajracharya, has  a freshly minted M.B.A.
  5. There are other former kumari, women who in their prepubescent youth were worshiped as the living embodiment of a Hindu goddess.
  6. She was speaking at the family home in Patan, where she had performed her divine duties for 10 years.
  7. The tradition centers on the story of a Hindu goddess, Taleju, who gave counsel to a king.
  8. A dozen children are bestowed the title of kumari at any one time.
  9. Ms. Bajracharya, remains a staunch champion of the tradition.
  10. People used to think that as a goddess, we have a very secluded life.

Grammar Focus: Word -Recognition

Directions: Students choose the correct word to complete the sentences taken from the article. They are to choose from the options presented.

Her days/day were often spend/spent receiving a long line of visitors, who would kneel/knee at her tiny feet, which were/was never supposed to/too touch the ground outside. The devotees would place offerings/offering of cash and fruit into brass bowls as, wordlessly, Chanira would stretch out a/an arm covered in/on red satin, smudging vermilion paste, a/an religious marker called a tika, on their foreheads as a blessing.

Reading Comprehension Fill-ins

Directions: Place students in groups and after they have read the entire article, have them complete the following sentences  taken from the article. They can use the words and terms from the list provided, or provide their own terms. They are to find the meanings of any new vocabulary.

The ___of one___ were ___with ___of her in full___, a small girl with brightly painted lips and eyes lined with kohl. In one___, she is looking down imperiously at the last___of Nepal, Gyanendra, the assassin’s brother.

WORD LIST: king, photograph, kumari regalia, covered, walls, room,  photographs,

III. Post Reading Activities

WH-How Questions

Directions: Have students use the  WH-question format to discuss or to write the main points from the article. 

Who or What is the article about?

Where does the action/event take place?

When does the action/event take place?

Why did the action/event occur?

How did the action/event occur?

III Post Reading

Discussion Questions for Comprehension /Writing

Directions: Have  students discuss the following questions/statements. Afterwards,  students share their thoughts as a class. To reinforce the ideas, students can write an essay on one of the topics mentioned.

  1. After reading this article, would you like to be a goddess? Why or why not?
  2. In your opinion, is this a positive or negative practice?
  3. What is the name of the 6-year-old goddess?
  4. What tragedy did the young goddess foresee in June 2001?
  5. Where does Kathmandu work today?
  6. Why are most of the goddesses denied an education?
  7. Approximately when did this practice of choosing girls to be goddesses begin?
  8. What happens to the children after they lose their divinity?
  9. What are the criticisms of this practice?
  10.  How is Ms. Bajracharya  working to change the future of young goddesses?
  11.  Does Ms. Bajracharya believe that her rights were violated as a child goddess?
  12. What did Nepal’s Supreme Court state about the Kumari tradition?
  13. List three new ideas  that you’ve learned about the topic from the reading,  two things that you did not understand in the reading, and one thing you  would like to know that the article did not mention.  Share your responses with your class.
  14. List 3  questions that you would like to ask any person mentioned in the article. Groups share questions as a class.

ANSWER KEY

Category: Celebrations, Children/Teens, Culture, Education, Religion | Tags:

Should 4-Year-Olds Be Allowed to Run Errands Alone?

“A 4-year-old can run errands alone … and not just on reality TV.” M. Doucleff, NPR  April 30, 2022

ESL Voices Lesson Plan for this post with Answer Key

Credit- Malaka Gharib: NPR

 

Excerpt: A 4-year-old can run errands alone … and not just on reality TV, By Michaeleen Doucleff, NPR (Goats and Soda section) April 30, 2022

“A few years ago, my husband and I had a bit of a situation on our hands. Our 4-year-old daughter had figured out how to climb onto the roof of our home. After breakfast in the mornings, we would find her perched, like a pigeon, three stories above a busy city sidewalk. (It makes me a bit nauseous to think about it).

The first morning, I tried to coax her down by asking her nicely (“Rosy, please come down. That is dangerous.”), nagging a bit (‘Rosy, I’m serious. You have to come down. Please. Please’) and eventually issuing a flimsy threat (‘Ok. If you don’t come down, we won’t get ice cream on Friday.’)

Then the fourth time she went up there, I was a bit fed up and decided to try and fix the root of the problem, instead of just the symptoms. I was in the middle of writing a book about parenting around the world, and I had heard the same advice over and over again: When a kid misbehaves they need more autonomy; they need more responsibility…So, looking up at the little daredevil hovering over the gutters, I decided she was finally ready to do just that. So I said to her: ‘We’re out of milk. Can you run up to the market and buy us some milk?’ The market is two blocks away. ‘All by myself?’ she asked with a twinkle in her eye. ‘Yes, all by yourself.’

Now a Japanese reality show, streaming on Netflix, is reminding me of that pivotal moment – and the importance of a seemingly trivial task on children’s lives — all around the world. It’s not so much about raising ‘free range’ kids – the term often used to describe children who are free to play and explore around their homes and neighborhoods on their own — but rather it’s about raising smart, capable kids whose parents enable them to practice autonomy without sacrificing safety. Kids who have the skills they need to handle the responsibility.

The show, called Old Enough!, has aired in Japan for more than three decades, but it’s new to an American audience. On the show, children ages 2 to 4 are charged with running an errand for their parents. Camera people follow the kids. A narrator comments on their progress.

Don’t forget the curry! A very young errand runner is the star of one episode of the Japanese series Old Enough!, which assigns seemingly daunting tasks to little tykes. Netflix / screen grab by NPR

In the first episode, a toddler takes a 20-minute walk to a grocery store and picks up three items for his mom: flowers, curry and fishcakes.

The little boy couldn’t be more than 2 and a half years old. Is that a diaper I see under his shorts? Yet he manages to navigate traffic, find two of the items in the grocery, pay for them and walk out of the store…Despite all that, at the end of the episode, I still had this overwhelming sense that the child accomplished something remarkable. Seeing a little tyke – perhaps still in his nappies – handle such a complex task brought this rush of joy through me.

Credit: Malaka Gharib: NPR

And made me think, Wow, kids are so much more capable than we think! And on the flip side: Wow, American society is really holding kids back… If your kid is anything like Rosy, they will cherish and love these moments of responsibility and autonomy.”

ESL Voices Lesson Plan for this post

NOTE: Lessons can also be used with native English speakers.

Level: Intermediate – Advanced


Language Skills: Reading, writing, and speaking. Vocabulary and grammar activities are included.


Time: Approximately 60 minutes.


Materials: Student handout (from this lesson) and access to news article.


Objective: Students will read and discuss the article with a focus on improving reading comprehension and improving oral skills. At the end of the lesson students will express their personal views on the topic through group work and writing.

I. Pre-Reading Activities

 Predictions: Analyzing headings and photos

Directions: Examine the titles of the post and of the actual article.  Examine any photos, then create a list of  words and  ideas  that you  and your group members think might be related to this article. 

II. While Reading Activities

Word Inference

Directions: Try to infer the meanings of the words in bold taken from the article. You use a dictionary, thesaurus, and Word Chart for assistance.

  1. We would find our 4-year-old daughter perched, like a pigeon, three stories above a busy city sidewalk.
  2. It makes me a bit nauseous to think about it.
  3. The first morning, I tried to coax her down by asking her nicely.
  4. Eventually, I issued  a flimsy threat (‘If you don’t come down, we won’t get ice cream’.)
  5. When a kid misbehaves they need more autonomy.
  6. I told my friend about Rosy’s escapades.
  7. Looking up at the little daredevil hovering over the gutters, I decided she was finally ready to run errands.
  8. I began watching a Japanese reality show.
  9. Seeing a little tyke – perhaps still in his nappies – handle such a complex task is amazing.
  10. The show has a laugh track behind the commentary,  which makes it feel a bit silly.

Grammar Focus: Word -Recognition

Directions: Students choose the correct word to complete the sentences taken from the article. They are to choose from the options presented.

Autonomy has/have oodles off/of benefits for/of kids of all age/ages. Studies/study have linked autos/autonomy to/too long-term motivation, independence, confidence an/and better executive function. As a/an children/child gets older, autonomy is associated with better performance in/inn school and a decreased risk of drug and alcohol abuse.

Reading Comprehension: Identify The  Speakers

Directions: Read the following quotes from the speakers in the article. Then identify the speakers.

  1. “Learning to run errands has huge benefits to kids All around the world, little kids, even as young as ages 3 or 4, run errands for their parents. In fact, if you look across cultures, not running errands is an oddity.”
  2. “kids in many parts of Europe walk to school and make trips to the grocery store alone.
  3.    “Even youngsters who are still walking very unsteadily on their feet are conscripted [asked] by adults to hand knives, beads and food to other nearby adults.”
  4. In a study published in 2009,  they described  a 6-year-old girl in Peru who volunteers to join Izquierdo and another family on a five-day journey down river to fish and gather leaves.
  5. “Autonomous play has been a really important part of child development throughout human evolutionary history. And actually, it was a feature of American society until relatively recently as well.”
  6. They write in their book  The Self-Driven Child: “…when children don’t have enough autonomy, they can feel powerless over their lives…Over time, that feeling can cause stress and anxiety. In fact,  lack of autonomy is likely a major reason for the high rates of anxiety and depression among American children and teenagers. Autonomy provides the antidote to this stress.”
  7. “The biggest gift parents can give their children is the opportunity to make their own decisions.”
  8. “We now live in a country where it is seen as abnormal, or even criminal, to allow children to be away from direct adult supervision, even for a second.”
  9. “What counts as ‘free-range parenting’ and what counts as ‘neglect’ are in the eye of the beholder — and race and class often figure heavily into such distinctions.”

III. Post Reading Activities

WH-How Questions

Directions: Have students use the  WH-question format to discuss or to write the main points from the article.

Who or What is the article about?

Where does the action/event take place?

When does the action/event take place?

Why did the action/event occur?

How did the action/event occur?

Discussion Questions for Comprehension /Writing

Directions: Have  students discuss the following questions/statements. Afterwards,  students share their thoughts as a class. To reinforce the ideas, students can write an essay on one of the topics mentioned.

  1. Can you remember the first time you went to a store by yourself?
  2. At what age do you think it is safe to send a child alone to the grocery store?
  3. What does the term “free range” kids mean?
  4. How Long has the reality show Old Enough! aired in Japan? Describe what the show is  about.
  5. After viewing the Japanese reality show, what was the author’s reaction?  What did she think about American society and how kids in the U.S. are treated?
  6. What are some of the benefits of teaching young children to run errands?
  7. How did the author of this article handle the situation with her daughter Rosy? Do you think it was a good solution to stop Rosy from doing dangerous things?
  8. List three new ideas  that you’ve learned about the topic from the reading,  two things that you did not understand in the reading, and one thing you  would like to know that the article did not mention.  Share your responses with your class.

ANSWER KEY

Category: Children/Teens, Culture, Education | Tags:

How To Raise A Resilient Child

“Never has resilience — be it physical, mental, emotional or financial — been more important to our society than in the past year and a half, and never have I been so determined to pass it on to my son.” E. VanceThe New York Times, September 21, 2021

ESL Voices Lesson Plan for this post with Answer Key

Raising Resilient Kids Who Are Prepared for the Future-Child Mind Institute

Excerpt: The Secret to Raising a Resilient Kid, By Erik Vance, The New York Times, Sept. 14, 2021

Credit- Joao Fazenda NYT

 

“In my early teens, my dad took myself, my best friend and our neighbor on a grueling backpacking trip connecting California’s Yosemite Valley to Half Dome to nearby Clouds Rest mountain and back again. By the second day — halfway up Clouds Rest, on wobbly legs and besieged by mosquitoes — we finally mutinied. The three of us made it clear to my father that we were done. Nobody had heard of Clouds Rest and nobody had the juice to see the top.

‘OK, I understand,’ I remember Dad saying. ‘You guys stay here. Erik, let’s go.’

There was no point arguing. Even today, my only memory of the top of Clouds Rest is the blue sky I saw flat on my back, panting and praying for a speedy death.

Later, of course, I described the hike as an epic victory of teenager over nature. Which, I suspect, is why my dad pushed me to do it. Whether he knew it or not, Dad was a big believer in the concept of resilience, the ability to engage with a challenge, risk or impediment, and come out the other side with some measure of success…Thankfully, most experts say resiliency is something that can be fostered, nurtured and developed in children from a very young age. You just have to build a safe foundation, find challenges and watch kids thrive.

Credit-schoolbag.edu.sg

Build a stable, safe foundation… “Having a relationship with a caring parent is far and away the most powerful protective factor for children,” said Ann Masten, a psychology professor at the University of Minnesotaand a pioneer in the study of resiliency in children.

Once a kid feels safe, supported and has a good model of resilience, it’s time to challenge her a little…’One of the great skills of parenting is knowing how to challenge, when to challenge, how much to challenge,’ Dr. Masten said. ‘There’s no one right way to foster resilience, just like there’s no one right way to parent.’

If you put the word “resilience” on a poster, it would probably be under a photo of someone climbing a mountain, fighting a forest fire or perhaps tending to patients in a Covid ward. But, in fact, it’s the small disappointments or frustrating moments that truly build resilience.”

ESL Voices Lesson Plan for this post

NOTE: Lessons can also be used with native English speakers.

Level: Intermediate – Advanced


Language Skills: Reading, writing, and speaking. Vocabulary and grammar activities are included.


Time: Approximately 60 minutes.


Materials: Student handout (from this lesson) and access to news article.


Objective: Students will read and discuss the article with a focus on improving reading comprehension and improving oral skills. At the end of the lesson students will express their personal views on the topic through group work and writing.

I. Pre-Reading Activities

 Predictions: Using a Pre-reading Organizer

Directions: Examine the title of the post and of the actual article. Next examine  any photos. Write a paragraph describing what you think this article will discuss. A pre-reading organizer may be used.

II. While Reading Activities

Word Inference

Directions: Try to infer the meanings of the words in bold taken from the article. You use a dictionary, thesaurus, and Word Chart for assistance.

  1. Raising a resilient kid might be challenging.
  2. In my early teens, my dad took myself, my best friend and our neighbor on a grueling backpacking trip.
  3. By the second day  we were besieged by mosquitoes.
  4. We finally mutinied.
  5. Later, of course, I described the hike as an epic victory of teenager over nature.
  6. It’s a psychological principle blending optimism, flexibility, and problem-solving.
  7. It is about the ability to bounce back even when times get tough.
  8. You just have to build a safe foundation, find challenges and watch kids thrive.
  9. Children need to feel they have a stable home base before they can take risks and learn to bounce back.
  10. When we arrived, we learned that the next 48 hours would be plagued with thunderstorms, downpours and even a flood warning.

Grammar Focus: Identifying Prepositions

Directions: The following sentences are from the news article.For each sentence choose the correct preposition from the choices listed. Note that not all prepositions listed are in the article.

Make the most of small challenges. If you put the word “resilience” on a poster, it would probably be under a photo of someone climbing a mountain, fighting a forest fire or perhaps tending to patients in a Covid ward. But, in fact, it’s the small disappointments or frustrating moments that truly build resilience.

When teaching canoeing, for instance, he starts by putting a kid into a boat to see if she can figure it out. Then, after a little frustration, he gives some instruction and lets her try again.

Reading Comprehension: Identify The  Speakers

Directions: Read the following quotes from the speakers in the article. Then identify the speakers.

  1. “Whether he knew it or not, Dad was a big believer in the concept of resilience, the ability to engage with a challenge, risk or impediment, and come out the other side with some measure of success.”
  2. “Resilient people not only bounce back, but also thrive in the best of times.”
  3. “Creating resilience in children isn’t just chucking them into the deep end of a pool to see if they can swim, it’s about the bedrock of support you give them every day. Having a relationship with a caring parent is far and away the most powerful protective factor for children,”
  4. “It’s not just about being tough — that’s not resiliency. It’s about doing things that you’re not sure you can do. And with other people.”

Discussion Questions for Comprehension /Writing

Directions: Have  students discuss the following questions/statements. Afterwards,  students share their thoughts as a class. To reinforce the ideas, students can write an essay on one of the topics mentioned.

  1. According to experts, how is resiliency acquired?
  2. How does Dr. Masten,  describe resilience?
  3. What must parents do before attempting to teach resilience to their children?
  4. Why is it important to ‘regulate’ your own emotions around your children?
  5. The article states that if some people place the word ‘resilience’ under a poster, it would probably be under a photo of someone climbing a mountain, fighting a forest fire or perhaps tending to patients in a Covid ward. The article continues to state, “But, in fact, it’s the small disappointments or frustrating moments that truly build resilience.” What photo or image would you place under the word ‘resilience’?
  6. Explain ’cause and effect’ as applied to a child coming home with an F in math.
  7. According to Dr. Masten what is one great parenting skill?
  8. List three new ideas  that you’ve learned about the topic from the reading,  two things that you did not understand in the reading, and one thing you  would like to know that the article did not mention.  Share your responses with your class.
  9. List 3  questions that you  would like to ask any person mentioned in the article. Share questions as a class.

 

Photo Activity for speaking or Writing

Place students in groups and have the cut out or take pictures describing what they think resilience means. Share pictures as a class.

ANSWER KEY

Category: Children/Teens, Culture, Education, Psychology, Social Issues | Tags:

When Siblings Fight: A Bouncer, A Referee and a Therapist Have the Answers

“What do a bar bouncer, kindergarten teacher, hockey referee, marriage and family therapist, and police officer all have in common? They know how to break up a fight… But would their techniques work on my brawling twins? E. J. Sullivan, The New York Times, Nov./21

ESL Voices Lesson Plan for this post with Answer Key

Credit- Janik Söllner

Excerpt: Kids Won’t Stop Fighting? A Bouncer, a Therapist and a Referee Have Advice, By Emily J. Sullivan 11/2021

“I work from home, like countless professionals around the world. Apparently even Jimmy Fallon works from home now. Lately, when I scroll through my Twitter feed, I see memes and rants from frazzled parents new to the work-from-home hustle. Shouting siblings saturate the backgrounds of video posts, and wide-eyed parents stare helplessly into the lens.

Even before the pandemic had confined us to our homes, parents were seeking help from therapists and scanning parenting blogs for the answer to an age-old question: How do I get my kids to stop fighting?

My twin 5-year-olds, Penny and Layla, are sweet as pie but hell raisers when provoked. They clutch each other lovingly one minute and curse each other the next. Hell hath no fury like a sibling scorned.

As the mediator for mini quarreling versions of myself, I want to pull out my hair by the fistful. Sometimes, I channel my inner yogi and lead an impromptu group meditation. During other crises, I’ve sent us all to separate rooms, so I could hide from the bickering and guzzle rosé. At this point, I’d try just about anything.

Then it occurred to me — maybe I should turn to the pros.

Chris Harrod worked at pubs and nightclubs in Manchester, England, as a bar bouncer, or doorman as the Brits call it, for 11 years. According to Harrod, the gritty night stops were often run behind the scenes by gangsters and dark money…’The trick is using minimum force and maximum effort,’ Harrod told me when I asked how to stop a fight before it starts… Steve Stevens, retired referee in chief for the U.S.A. Hockey Pacific District…’Before you skate in to break up a fight, you look ‘em over. If it’s a lopsided fight, you break it up,’ Stevens explained when I asked how he handled on-ice altercations.

‘If it’s a willing fight, you let ‘em fight,’ he continued… Let ‘em fight. I had to do some mental bargaining to wrap my head around this…I tracked down a veteran kindergarten teacher to find out her secret to coaxing good behavior.

Chriss Thompson has been teaching kindergarten for 18 years at Roynon Elementary School in La Verne, Calif. ‘I teach them that when someone is doing something they don’t like, to tell them in a nice firm voice, ‘Stop it, I don’t like that,’ Thompson explained.

This method sounded simple enough, and I love the concept of teaching my girls to be assertive and vocal, and to set boundaries. These are life lessons beneficial to everyone, especially budding young women.”

ESL Voices Lesson Plan for this post

NOTE: Lessons can also be used with native English speakers.

Level: Intermediate – Advanced


Language Skills: Reading, writing, and speaking. Vocabulary and grammar activities are included.


Time: Approximately 60 minutes.


Materials: Student handout (from this lesson) and access to news article.


Objective: Students will read and discuss the article with a focus on improving reading comprehension and improving oral skills. At the end of the lesson students will express their personal views on the topic through group work and writing.

I Pre-Reading Activities

 Predictions: Using a Pre-reading Organizer

Directions: Examine the title of the post and of the actual article. Next examine  any photos. Write a paragraph describing what you think this article will discuss. A pre-reading organizer may be used.

Pre-reading chart by J. Swann

 

II. While Reading Activities

Word Inference

Directions: Try to infer the meanings of the words in bold taken from the article. You use a dictionary, thesaurus, and Word Chart for assistance.

  1. A  Bouncer has advice for  parents.
  2. A referee also had some sound advice to stop kids from fighting.
  3. These conflict resolution experts know how to stop fights before and after they start.
  4. But would their techniques work on my brawling twins?
  5. Apparently even Jimmy Fallon works from home now.
  6. Shouting siblings saturate the backgrounds of video posts.
  7. Even before the pandemic had confined us to our homes, parents were seeking help from therapists.
  8. My twin 5-year-olds, Penny and Layla, are sweet but hell raisers when provoked.
  9. Sometimes, I channel my inner yogi and lead an impromptu group meditation.
  10. I like to hide from the bickering and guzzle rosé.

 

Grammar Focus: Identifying Prepositions

Directions: The following sentences are from the news article.  For each sentence choose the correct preposition from the choices listed. Note that not all prepositions listed are in the article.

Some Prepositions: at,  as, across, around,  by, during,  for, from, in, into,  of, on,  to, over,  off, through, up,  with, since,

As the mediator for mini quarreling versions of myself, I want to pull out my hair by the fistful. Sometimes, I channel my inner yogi and lead an impromptu group meditation. During other crises, I’ve sent us all to separate rooms, so I could hide from the bickering and guzzle rosé. At this point, I’d try just about anything.

Reading Comprehension Identify The  Speakers

Directions: Read the following quotes from the speakers in the article. Then identify the speakers.

  1. “The trick is using minimum force and maximum effort. “Even the roughest, toughest lads would use the same approach, and much of what they did was just menace. You’d look at ‘em and think there’s no way I want to fight you.”
  2. “Before you skate in to break up a fight, you look ‘em over. If it’s a lopsided fight, you break it up.If it’s a willing fight, you let ‘em fight. Keep watch but don’t jump into the fray until one of ‘em grabs a hold of the other or they go down. You do not get in the fight — that’s the fastest way to get knocked out.”
  3. “Maintain composure — it’s easy to get rattled when you’re with people who are arguing. You want to soften the anger of both parties. Validate each person. Point out what the two sides have in common so they can stop feeling like they are on opposing teams and can get on the same team.”
  4. “Have one stay in the house, one step outside. Get them far away from each other and out of each other’s eyesight. If they both live there, we can’t tell either of the parties to leave; we try to come to a resolution.”
  5. “I teach them that when someone is doing something they don’t like, to tell them in a nice firm voice, ‘Stop it, I don’t like that’.”

III. Post Reading Activities

WH-How Questions

Directions: Have students use the  WH-question format to discuss or to write the main points from the article.

Who or What is the article about?

Where does the action/event take place?

When does the action/event take place?

Why did the action/event occur?

How did the action/event occur?

Discussion Questions for Comprehension /Writing

Directions: Have  students discuss the following questions/statements. Afterwards,  students share their thoughts as a class. To reinforce the ideas, students can write an essay on one of the topics mentioned.

  1. When you were young did you fight your siblings?
  2. How did your parents stop the fights?
  3. If you are a parent, do your kids fight? How do you stop them from fighting?
  4. According to Chris Harrod, what is the trick to stopping a fight?
  5. What happened when the mom tried the “Manchester” bar bouncer approach?
  6. What was the outcome when the mom used the “Hockey” referee advice with her kids?
  7. According to the author of this article when did the “L.A.P.D.”  method worked the best?
  8. When did the author’s twins behave nicely? Why do you think they did this?
  9. List three new ideas that you’ve learned about the topic from the reading,  two things that you did not understand in the reading, and one thing you  would like to know that the article did not mention.  Share your responses with your class.

ANSWER KEY

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